Humble And Grateful And Mystified

i write infrequently these days / i have been away longer than usual this time / i struggle to understand why this happens / i usually fail

language is such a fascinating idea for me / the idea that i can share such complex concepts and even images within my consciousness simply by constructing symbols on a page / well / some certainly can and do / better and more often than i

for example / i have long struggled with the question of what exactly it means “to know” something / we are after all limited by our awareness / and therefore anything we think we “know” of can be challenged / can only be conditional

what if we were not to use the verb “know” / instead using descriptions such as “it seems ” or “it is as if” or “it appears to be”

suddenly i am liberated to describe my experience and observation as a personal narrative instead of an objective discourse / perhaps this is what Socrates was alluding to / “i am uncertain” / rather than “i don’t know”

but the real reason for visiting with you today began to unfold early this morning / my restless diurnal fading from one level to another was filled with turbulence / threatening and agitated / my awareness was more like white water than the usual foggy dissolve to dissonant daylight…

i was vinegar and oil / at once both / but apart

i was the rolling sea

i was all things that have ever been or will ever be

i was all things that have never been or would never be

i was humble and grateful and mystified

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