Subject: blood sugar
Date: Wednesday, June 13, 2012, 2:08 AM
its 1:46 AM. i am plugging away at work, answering emails. sadly, i can see i am not the only one. i see another woman i work with that is currently involved in a webex conference probably with india. sign of the times
for better of worse, i am having a few beers while i plug along.but then, i get a small craving for a snack. i reach for a few honey mustard and onion pretzel pieces they are pure delight. almost as soon as i grab for them i think of your father and his diabetes.i then think of the results of my physicals, which show a steady trend of blood sugar going into a bad place.i am walking much more than i ever have before in my life 143 miles so far this year, but still find that i am treading water at best.then
i look at my kitchen and say to myself some day soon i will own thiswhat the fuck is the point? some day soon i will own thissomeday the sun will expand and own everything.
where i am going with all this? perhaps just a rant.
why do i always come to you as my source of knowledge? i think its because you are 20 years in front of me.
you have done such a great job raising me. thanks.
i will have to give you a call some time soon.
BTW. the rain has started to fall, there is a cool breeze out of the west (63 degrees at the moment) its beautiful. there are 4 perfect weeks of the year here the last two weeks of may, and the first two weeks of june. my birthday falls at the tail end i love that.
back to the emails.
i love that late spring rain too / life is so sweet sometimes
there is no escape / men become their fathers / women become their mothers / the DNA is passed forward in time / and we are left without a clue why or what the message might be
i think about my father a great deal / all the things i should have asked him / im sorry / i didnt know he knew so much / when youre young you know everything / i didnt know / i was so full of myself / i didnt understand
you make me so proud / i dont tell you that often enough / i see how you live / and work / and take care of your family / your sensibilities / what delights you / what makes you crazy / your sensitivity / that last one is a curse sometimes / you already know that / i have always secretly admired people that lacked self awareness / it has been said that ignorance is bliss / a little bliss would feel good once in a while
keep walking / just do it son / its the best council i can give you / and keep aware / watch out for the asteroid / i think sometime one can avoid it / its worth the effort
thank you for coming out next month / there is so much i feel i need to explain to you / i know too much son
and happy birthday / the next twenty can be the best part / things have a way of falling into place / the bigger picture emerges / and whats really important becomes the focus of your life
and that indescribably sweet soft spring rain / the laughter in your young wifes eyes / watching the miracle of your daughter lilys story unfolding / maybe even the thoughts and the love of an aging parent /thats the point son / hold on tight to it
love / your father